Pretty Girl Syndrome™ — When Beauty Becomes Your Currency

What happens when the attention fades? When the mirror changes? When all the value you were taught to carry in your looks starts to shift? That’s Pretty Girl Syndrome™. And I’m still living in it.

What It Is

It’s Not Just About Vanity. It’s About Identity.

I didn’t know I had Pretty Girl Syndrome growing up. I didn’t have a name for it at the time. I just knew people praised my face. My light eyes. My smile. But they never talked about my intelligence, humor, or drive. Over time, I stopped nurturing those parts of me. My confidence became tied to how I looked—and when that no longer got me what I wanted, I felt lost.

Where It Starts

Born Into It

My father was dark-complexioned with green eyes, and my mom is fair-complexioned with brown eyes. As the story goes, when my Maymal removed the blanket from my face, she was relieved I was of a brown complexion. But when I opened my eyes for the first time, she was overjoyed with my light green eyes. See, because in Omaha, NE, there was a small community of Black folk, and everybody knew everybody, and no one at the time had my eye color matched with my complexion. That’s when my Pretty Girl was born.

From that moment on, my worth was linked to my appearance. Not my smarts. Not my voice. Just how I looked. And like many women, I chased that standard. I fed it. I used it. And I started to believe it was all I had.

What It Does to Us

The High Is Short. The Crash Is Long.

What We’re Going to Do About It

Let’s Talk About It—Out Loud

This talk is raw. It’s funny. It’s layered. I don’t speak from a place of “I’ve arrived.” I’m still unraveling it all—and I invite your audience to do the same. I talk about how this shows up in our choices, our relationships, our self-esteem, and our surgery appointments. No shame. Just honesty.

Bring this signature talk to your event—your audience won’t forget it.

Pick a date for your event and let’s get it scheduled.